Another crisp fall morning as I ride the train and watch the scenery for a moment.....its peaceful

Do you ever sense yourself becoming overly self-absorbed? I have truly noticed this lately. I wonder if I am protecting myself or maybe I'm lacking something

Struggling with Life's Challenges

Lately I am very conscious of the choices we make in life, especially as women to serve all of the masters in our universe. Some of these masters are created by us and some are, by definition, those that keep us going. An example is how we make choices about how to trade today for tomorrow. I find myself a good amount of the time trying to juggle all of the daily responsibilities with those that I believe that I "need" to keep my future enriched and keep me growing as a person.

I am also guilty of sometimes creating more masters in my universe that I have to answer to and they may not be realistic. I have struggled lately with what truly makes me happy and charged up....versus those things that should do that for me. I have created a wonderful life for myself and I have truly "bounced" with the challenges that I have faced with my life. I have realized lately, probably more clearly than I did before....that we all need to set the expectations that we want for our lives. And not let other people cloud our judgement as to what we feel is right for ourselves. We need to strive to be the people we want to be...and that includes how we work, how we live, how we cherish each other and how we provide comfort and kindness to others.

I have had some surprising experiences in the last two weeks that have truly opened my eyes to our current humanity. It has just reaffirmed to me that I need to be who I believe in and stand for things that are important to me.....and if that is a departure from some of the people in my life, then they will need to grow up and recognize who I am and who I want to be.....and that "who" is my best self who can give to my family, friends and the world at large....

Jet Lag & Exercise...

Traveling internationally can be a challenge for your mind and body.....my trips between the Midest and Europe are becoming more frequent and shorter duration. That's the challenge. By the time your body adjusts to the time change, you are on the plane ride home. I work to "wear myself" out before I fly to Europe and normally when I arrive I try to stay awake the whole day and try to work out during that first day (which can be tough).

I tried this experiment this week as I arrived yesterday and wore myself out. I have to admit, it is now 2:30 pm and I'm doing pretty well....we shall see how I adjust on my way back to the Midwest on Friday afternoon.....since it's not always enjoyable to readjust to time zones on a weekend UGH!

Just working to stay refreshed, energetic and awake....oh yeah and in good shape

Reflections...and Growth

When you take the time you reflect on your life, you can recognize some fairly crucial turning points and situations and people that touch you in different ways. I believe these situations and people help you grow, within yourself and within the world around you. Situations could be illness, work, family issues and/or experiencing/touching different cultures or places. People can be colleagues, neighbors, schoolmates or those people who are closest to us….family, boyfriends/girlfriends or best friends. It can even be as simple as someone you meet in line at the store or airport that, if you are paying attention, help you understand more about yourself.

Lately I have been more profoundly impacted by my sense of awareness. There are many people (and situations) that I can thank for these impacts. When I started this blog, I thought that I wouldn’t touch on relationships, etc. because I wanted to focus on Health & Joy…but I soon realized that our lives are too interwoven to not have this reflected in my blog. Situations and people help us learn about ourselves, help us search for answers to the many questions that we have and teach us how to be better people in the process.

I remember watching “As Good As It Gets”, which is a great film with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. His character is a successful author who struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder and she is a waitress that has a son with severe asthma. In the scene that sticks with me, these two characters are on a date in a restaurant, seated at the table and he struggles with giving her a compliment. He tries to search for words and finally says something like, “I take my medication now because you make me want to be a better man”. While she doesn’t understand the compliment completely, he is revealing that because of her, he is striving to be the man that he wants to be. I think that is a high compliment to give someone…..

I know how he feels since I have been struggling a great deal lately and I have someone in my life that helps me see the person that I want to be. He is my boyfriend of four years. He pushes me in ways that sometimes I can’t quite explain (nor do I have the patience for at times), but I have come to realize that he sees potential in me. Maybe he sees potential in me that I haven’t seen before and it is truly refreshing. I have grown tremendously since he has come into my life and I plan on growing even more in the years to come. He has given me the gift of viewing myself in a way that I have not previously….as a confident, pretty woman who has all kinds of possibilities……

This entry is dedicated to him and thanking him for showing me “my possibilities” through his perserverance, strength, patience and love. Thank you for introducing me to new experiences and chapters in my life. My hope is that we have many more to come together. Thank you for being my hero, challenger and comfort…..and my love.

Watching traffic...

I live in a high rise building (let's just say my unit is above the 35th floor) and it faces west. In our city, that means you can see for miles since our view is not blocked by other buildings. We also overlook all of the major expressways (freeways for those outside of Chicago). We talk about traffice alot as a society...where the conjestion is, where are the gaper's blocks, etc. It is even a part of our news in the morning...just so we always know what lies ahead.

I was just sitting here this evening and was home by myself catching up on some work and online shopping (come on winter is coming soon...). I found myself looking at the window and noticing how "soothing" it was to watch the traffic go by. It was busy, but as dusk fell and the headlights and tailights were on, it changed. There was a certain rhythm to the traffic that gave me a very soothing feeling.

Yes, I know what you are thinking...doesn't that crazy woman have anything better to do than watch traffic. And the answer is...on a quiet, peaceful night like tonight......no I didn't.

Moving Forward

Do you ever have the feeling that you are standing still in life? I have felt this way too much in the last year. I can't explain why, but I have truly felt that while I was moving through my life, maybe I was just standing still.

Whenever I get this feeling I usually need to reinvent something about my existence. For me, it usually is intellectual stagnation. It means I'm not learning or experiencing enough.....but I have forged ahead in my lifelong goal to "never stand still too long". I have entered a learning program that will push me to my intellectual limits (I hope). Not only will I be actively learning, I will be assessing my lifelong learning at the same time.

This is what I call making strides toward finding my true path and joy.....I will always search for my purpose, but I think I might be closer than I was yesterday.

Peace, take care and don't stand still too long......