Another crisp fall morning as I ride the train and watch the scenery for a moment.....its peaceful

Do you ever sense yourself becoming overly self-absorbed? I have truly noticed this lately. I wonder if I am protecting myself or maybe I'm lacking something

Struggling with Life's Challenges

Lately I am very conscious of the choices we make in life, especially as women to serve all of the masters in our universe. Some of these masters are created by us and some are, by definition, those that keep us going. An example is how we make choices about how to trade today for tomorrow. I find myself a good amount of the time trying to juggle all of the daily responsibilities with those that I believe that I "need" to keep my future enriched and keep me growing as a person.

I am also guilty of sometimes creating more masters in my universe that I have to answer to and they may not be realistic. I have struggled lately with what truly makes me happy and charged up....versus those things that should do that for me. I have created a wonderful life for myself and I have truly "bounced" with the challenges that I have faced with my life. I have realized lately, probably more clearly than I did before....that we all need to set the expectations that we want for our lives. And not let other people cloud our judgement as to what we feel is right for ourselves. We need to strive to be the people we want to be...and that includes how we work, how we live, how we cherish each other and how we provide comfort and kindness to others.

I have had some surprising experiences in the last two weeks that have truly opened my eyes to our current humanity. It has just reaffirmed to me that I need to be who I believe in and stand for things that are important to me.....and if that is a departure from some of the people in my life, then they will need to grow up and recognize who I am and who I want to be.....and that "who" is my best self who can give to my family, friends and the world at large....

Jet Lag & Exercise...

Traveling internationally can be a challenge for your mind and body.....my trips between the Midest and Europe are becoming more frequent and shorter duration. That's the challenge. By the time your body adjusts to the time change, you are on the plane ride home. I work to "wear myself" out before I fly to Europe and normally when I arrive I try to stay awake the whole day and try to work out during that first day (which can be tough).

I tried this experiment this week as I arrived yesterday and wore myself out. I have to admit, it is now 2:30 pm and I'm doing pretty well....we shall see how I adjust on my way back to the Midwest on Friday afternoon.....since it's not always enjoyable to readjust to time zones on a weekend UGH!

Just working to stay refreshed, energetic and awake....oh yeah and in good shape

Reflections...and Growth

When you take the time you reflect on your life, you can recognize some fairly crucial turning points and situations and people that touch you in different ways. I believe these situations and people help you grow, within yourself and within the world around you. Situations could be illness, work, family issues and/or experiencing/touching different cultures or places. People can be colleagues, neighbors, schoolmates or those people who are closest to us….family, boyfriends/girlfriends or best friends. It can even be as simple as someone you meet in line at the store or airport that, if you are paying attention, help you understand more about yourself.

Lately I have been more profoundly impacted by my sense of awareness. There are many people (and situations) that I can thank for these impacts. When I started this blog, I thought that I wouldn’t touch on relationships, etc. because I wanted to focus on Health & Joy…but I soon realized that our lives are too interwoven to not have this reflected in my blog. Situations and people help us learn about ourselves, help us search for answers to the many questions that we have and teach us how to be better people in the process.

I remember watching “As Good As It Gets”, which is a great film with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. His character is a successful author who struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder and she is a waitress that has a son with severe asthma. In the scene that sticks with me, these two characters are on a date in a restaurant, seated at the table and he struggles with giving her a compliment. He tries to search for words and finally says something like, “I take my medication now because you make me want to be a better man”. While she doesn’t understand the compliment completely, he is revealing that because of her, he is striving to be the man that he wants to be. I think that is a high compliment to give someone…..

I know how he feels since I have been struggling a great deal lately and I have someone in my life that helps me see the person that I want to be. He is my boyfriend of four years. He pushes me in ways that sometimes I can’t quite explain (nor do I have the patience for at times), but I have come to realize that he sees potential in me. Maybe he sees potential in me that I haven’t seen before and it is truly refreshing. I have grown tremendously since he has come into my life and I plan on growing even more in the years to come. He has given me the gift of viewing myself in a way that I have not previously….as a confident, pretty woman who has all kinds of possibilities……

This entry is dedicated to him and thanking him for showing me “my possibilities” through his perserverance, strength, patience and love. Thank you for introducing me to new experiences and chapters in my life. My hope is that we have many more to come together. Thank you for being my hero, challenger and comfort…..and my love.

Watching traffic...

I live in a high rise building (let's just say my unit is above the 35th floor) and it faces west. In our city, that means you can see for miles since our view is not blocked by other buildings. We also overlook all of the major expressways (freeways for those outside of Chicago). We talk about traffice alot as a society...where the conjestion is, where are the gaper's blocks, etc. It is even a part of our news in the morning...just so we always know what lies ahead.

I was just sitting here this evening and was home by myself catching up on some work and online shopping (come on winter is coming soon...). I found myself looking at the window and noticing how "soothing" it was to watch the traffic go by. It was busy, but as dusk fell and the headlights and tailights were on, it changed. There was a certain rhythm to the traffic that gave me a very soothing feeling.

Yes, I know what you are thinking...doesn't that crazy woman have anything better to do than watch traffic. And the answer is...on a quiet, peaceful night like tonight......no I didn't.

Moving Forward

Do you ever have the feeling that you are standing still in life? I have felt this way too much in the last year. I can't explain why, but I have truly felt that while I was moving through my life, maybe I was just standing still.

Whenever I get this feeling I usually need to reinvent something about my existence. For me, it usually is intellectual stagnation. It means I'm not learning or experiencing enough.....but I have forged ahead in my lifelong goal to "never stand still too long". I have entered a learning program that will push me to my intellectual limits (I hope). Not only will I be actively learning, I will be assessing my lifelong learning at the same time.

This is what I call making strides toward finding my true path and joy.....I will always search for my purpose, but I think I might be closer than I was yesterday.

Peace, take care and don't stand still too long......

Friends always bring joy...

I had a moment last week that I can't stop thinking about and wanted to put it out there. Do we surround ourselves with the people that feed our joy and our soul? I'm not sure the people that are attracted to us (and us to them) are always people who can feed our soul. Those that look at you with pride, joy and know what you have to give to the world (however big or small).

I had one of those moments when I wasn't feeling well last week. I have a friend who lives in Arizona and was planning to come in and have dinner with me. She had also called me about some business advice (which I gladly gave...). It was Wednesday afternoon (see previous post for "Not My Best Day" last Wednesday)...I had gone home not feeling great.

I had snuggled up with my laptop to concentrate and up pops an email from my sweet friend. Out of the blue (my blue at least :)) she wrote one of the most heartfelt, genuine and giving emails that I have had the pleasure of receiving. In this email, she told me what made me special and how I had contributed to her life (and happiness). While I had tears in my eyes, I realized that she had just fed my soul.....and more importantly, I realized that my soul must be "starving" lately.

So here I am with this realization, trying to process it and make it actionable for myself (cuz that is what women do)......because I have to always be conscious of what needs to be fed......my soul, my joy, my health and my relationships. Learning is sooooo important...........

Finding "Exercise"...and enjoying it

In my early years I was an athlete, so training was part of my routine....the purpose was to get better at your sport/skill. But as I got older, I didn't have the same drive that I did then...maybe I was lacking a goal or something to get better at....versus just being healthier.

I have recently discovered that for myself....that it is okay for me to have a goal to be healthier and exercise is an important part of that goal. Now I "work" to find time to get exercise in my day and there are some days when I am truly "pushing" myself......all in the spirit of getting better at being healthy.

In doing this, I have rediscovered my body and exercise and it feels great. My energy is better, my mood is improved when I work out and I feel like I have accomplished something in my day.....and sometimes that accomplishment is just SWEAT! :)

Summer Hours...

I am blessed that my company has continued to keep me around, but also to extend to its home office employees a summer hours program. We take on a little bit more time Monday-Thursday and then we have a half day on Friday. I would be perfectly comfortable with that schedule for the whole year....when you are working between 50-60 hours a week, does it matter where you do the work?

That is my thought for the day....have we become a workforce focused on results and productivity or are we still a workforce that requires a great amount of corporate structure and the see and be seen culture? I think that for some corporations, we are somewhere in between and for those environments that have more entrepreneurs, the productivity/outputs matter more than the visibility.

I hope that we always remember that balance is important...that is work/life, work/work and people/work....I have wonderful colleagues that I am blessed to see everyday and a wonderful environment to come home to as well. It makes me healthier and more fulfilled....

Enjoy your Friday afternoon.....wherever you may be....

Not My Best Day..

Do you ever have one of those days where you just struggle? Nothing seems "in place" from your balance to your cognition to your ability to stay awake (generally). Yep that was my day today....I got up at my normal time and went to the office, as usual.

I discovered once I had used all of my energy to get up, shower, get in the car and make the 30 minute drive, that I just wasn't going to last the whole 9 or 10 hour day. So I did what I thought was best....I told my boss and co-workers that this just wasn't my best day and I came home to snuggle. And snuggle I did....in my big bed with my portable desk laptop and beautiful dog Maggie.

What I have learned? On those days where you have health struggles and you are not at your best (or even close to it).....you need to listen to your body and try to find some comfort. Mine was snuggling with Maggie and my laptop for the rest of the afternoon. And trying to get some work done to make myself feel better about my "lack of cognition" earlier in the day. As I snuggle here at almost 9 pm.....I feel better, emotionally, productively and I'm smiling.

I hope to not always struggle with physical challenges, but when I do I know how to turn my "not best day" into a peaceful one.....

Soaking my feet...connected to health? It might be

What do you do to relax and enhance your health at the end of a long day?

I usually have long days, like most people. I am up at 5 am, showered and walking to the train by 6 am. On the train I usually start my work day and then I arrive at the office around 7:45 am. Then it is your typical busy corporate day....phone calls, emails, meetings and more deliverables. Then back off to the train and the walk home to my city apartment which I share with my lovely boyfriend.

And what do I try to do after dinner? Soak my feet in a detoxifying foot bath. This foot bath comes with an ionizer that fits within the footbath. This footbath works to detoxify your body. How do you know what's coming out? Well, it comes with a handy chart that allows you to tell what part of your body is detoxing at any point in time. I can tell you right now, that my biggest point of detox is my liver.....so the water after my footbaths is usually quite orange. But I'm glad that it is coming out versus clogging up my liver function.

I have to admit it felt very strange to watch yourself in a foot bath for 30 mins and within minutes that water begin to turn colors. But afterward I started to feel better and know that this is a great thing that I can do for my body. Not only does it feel like an excuse to soak my feet after a long day, but also it helps to ground me in what is going on in my body that needs some attention. And that is important.....

Now I can focus on working on taking care of my liver.....along with everything else. It feels good to be connected to myself....

Health & Joy...how interrelated are they?

This morning I was pondering how truly interconnected health and joy are....whether we need to feel physically good to be joyful or can we find joy in the littlest things as long as we are conscious enough to search.

I know that there are different points of view on this topic, but I would like to think that you can always find some joy. I learned to truly find joy in the last ten years....when I had to reinvent my life. During this process, I learned that joy can come from the smallest accomplishments or contributions...whether it was making myself laugh at least once a day or sending someone a nice note to let them know that you were thinking of them. Sometimes I think that I, like most people, get too caught up in health sides of things. You know the normal questions that woman ponder (or obsess, depending on who you are)....

Am I the right size? Do I eat the right foods? Do I put the right things in my body? Am I conscious enough to notice that my body isn't working right? Or am I satisfied with just surviving vs thriving? And what would it take for me to thrive...being healthy and joyful? And will I ever know the answers?

I am starting to be convinced that I will never know the answers, but I believe it is more important to know the questions and be able to ponder. Pondering keeps me going and keeps me smiling....what else would I do on the train when I'm not obsessing about work/home and if my outfit looks good....

Have a great day and don't forget to ponder just a little....and find a smile

Sundays...rest and smiles

Sundays are meant to be filled with rest and relaxation. Today was a good day.....

Slept in, walked with the dog to get coffee and read the Sunday paper. And let's not forget the Sunday morning tradition of searching for coupons.....they just don't have as many as they used to in the Sunday paper. But it is still fun to look for bargains!

I think its important to look for smiles everyday. Today, it was standing out in the sunlight this morning and watching Maggie (our little Chihauhau/Terrier) be playful in the grass. She is so sweet and works to remind me every day that I should smile. She greets me when I walk in the door and it is the most excitement that I remember anyone having for me when I walk into the room. She constantly reminds me how much love there is in this world.....

Sundays are my favorite days....and I hope everyone remembers to smile this Sunday and every one after this.....

It is important to remember as we get older that you can always find simplicity and smiles.....just don't forget to look....